So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize