M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
