I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
