thus making me awesome and them whores
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she looked like the before picture.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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