Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
