New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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