if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
