why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
