if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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