If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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