peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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