I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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