ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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