am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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