Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
