I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
