Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
