if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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