you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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