I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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