how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
