I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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