her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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