I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
