he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
