A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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