i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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