all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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