I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
