how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
