That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
