There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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