You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
