"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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