i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
