He is such a slut. More and more my type.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
