dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I did not marry a roomba.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
