I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
