I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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