I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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