Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
