so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
