I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
