Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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