Im at strip club and am horny
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
