Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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