Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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