Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought that was really considerate

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  (586): I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating' (586): I thought that was really considerate http://tfl.nu/g1h7
  Replies (3) Good night (2474) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole

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  (817): i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole http://tfl.nu/vkxw
  Replies (21) Good night (868) Bad night (6964)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning

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  (214): yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning http://tfl.nu/ufvh
  Replies (54) Good night (2002) Bad night (3887)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love

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  (609): He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/lok4
  Replies (47) Good night (3418) Bad night (7483)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.

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  (706): This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules. http://tfl.nu/2gj5
  Replies (16) Good night (6481) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that

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  (407): I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that http://tfl.nu/57uu
  Replies (6) Good night (4286) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible

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  (816): I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible http://tfl.nu/v92i
  Replies (3) Good night (2298) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.

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  (281): Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night. http://tfl.nu/k3ni
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (1596)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous

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  (781): The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous http://tfl.nu/9eck
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

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  (850): Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper?? http://tfl.nu/82gs
  Replies (6) Good night (1577) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired

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  (915): Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired http://tfl.nu/r2a7
  Replies (5) Good night (836) Bad night (1565)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  NoShamevember. You game?

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  (615): NoShamevember. You game? http://tfl.nu/f24z
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?

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  (516): you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call? http://tfl.nu/y8f9
  Replies (5) Good night (218) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.

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  (484): True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/vrl4
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place

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  (306): just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place http://tfl.nu/2srt
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (255)

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