You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
