Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to

  (1-845): View more from New York

  i wanted you to too

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  (845): im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to (1-845): i wanted you to too http://tfl.nu/498i
  Replies (15) Good night (893) Bad night (1448)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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  (678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/868g
  Replies (27) Good night (7426) Bad night (1442)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

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  (620): My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win. http://tfl.nu/w5au
  Replies (53) Good night (12796) Bad night (905)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

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  (281): He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back. http://tfl.nu/ko52
  Replies (13) Good night (5957) Bad night (1014)
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  (619): View more from California

  he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house

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  (619): he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house http://tfl.nu/t2gc
  Replies (3) Good night (3316) Bad night (811)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?

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  (724): Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos? http://tfl.nu/mgyg
  Replies (27) Good night (3992) Bad night (1063)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.

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  (706): I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth. http://tfl.nu/hreh
  Replies (1) Good night (1486) Bad night (843)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.

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  (210): so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail. http://tfl.nu/722m
  Replies (8) Good night (1644) Bad night (625)
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  (510): View more from California

  Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

  (1-510): View more from California

  That is one convoluted booty call.

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  (510): Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week. (1-510): That is one convoluted booty call. http://tfl.nu/bxw4
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (962)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge

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  (518): Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge http://tfl.nu/f69s
  Replies (5) Good night (1531) Bad night (497)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister

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  (780): Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister http://tfl.nu/6uk5
  Replies (20) Good night (1124) Bad night (602)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.

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  (970): Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon. http://tfl.nu/bx6h
  Replies (5) Good night (1861) Bad night (632)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me

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  (228): Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me http://tfl.nu/rhlr
  Replies (8) Good night (838) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park

  (210): View more from Texas

  Surprise ending

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  (210): Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park (210): Surprise ending http://tfl.nu/6dpe
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (236)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...

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  (205): I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge... http://tfl.nu/he3w
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (245)

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