They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon