i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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