I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.