that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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