worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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