can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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