saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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