He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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