I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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