There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
