I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
