I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
