Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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