Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
someone owes me an orgasm
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
