He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You're a waste of cheezeits
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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