You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
