i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
