Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
