Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
