are you still at the devil's house?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
