I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
